Over the years, I have found that the process of spiritual awakening is not about adding anything to myself, but instead it is actually a shedding of all that is not truth. And the truth is that you and everyone and everything you have ever encountered, is already divine, and heaven is not a place that you will go when you die, but it is within you, now, and always. For most people, this beautiful reality is hidden by layers of protection and conditioning that prevent Divine realization.
The awakening process is the removing of the illusion of the protective and conditioned ego which is the core of all falsehood. For myself and every committed seeker I have ever met, it is a wondrous rollercoaster of bliss, terror, deep peace, grief, loneliness, and pure love. It is a destruction of everything that isn’t truth.
For most, this is thankfully very gradual. The human nervous system has trouble assimilating the enormous surges of energy that accompany a sudden enlightenment, and often, the people who experience it are unable to function in the world for a time.
Spiritual awakening begins when the hero or heroine is called to the adventure, and if they choose to answer the call, which they almost always do, transformation on a foundational level is inevitable. Sometimes the call is a gentle knowing within that there is more to reality than you’ve been conditioned to believe and you seek truth. Sometimes the call is a traumatic life event that destroys the very foundation of your reality and you search for peace.
Whatever the call was, as you move more and more towards spirit, you see the falsehood of not only your own shadowy, illusory stuff, but the shadows of others and of society. As the unconscious becomes conscious and is seen for what it is, unreal and powerless, the shadows fall away, and the reality that you built on the ground of illusion also falls away. The mindless daily grind becomes unbearable because you know the meaninglessness of it. You are not asleep to it anymore. Life falls apart and chaos reigns for a time.
How could life not fall apart as you start to wake from the dream? Only truth can exist as a reality, and the truth is that from the very beginning of time, you have been only Divine. It was only a false belief that you were separate from God that kept you feeling separate from anything. It has never been true. You have been living in a world of you as the subject and outside objects. This reality of form is actually not real. Until you’re fully awake, you will think that the world of stuff is
This happened without your consent. You were dreaming, and the unconsciously constructed dream self, was nothing more than an untrue thought. You built a reality on an untrue thought. Waking up is knowing that you are not who you have thought yourself to be. Just like when you are asleep and dreaming, the dream world is shattered when you open your eyes. This waking up process is blissful and beautiful, and can be very painful and will likely challenge you in every way that a human can be challenged.
The things that do not serve your deepest truth must leave your life, at times gently, and at other times with great force. The process of shedding the layers of illusion is reflected every where in your life. It becomes impossible to hold on to the old ways.
Spirit is not linear, and it doesn’t care what your friends and family think of you. As you wake up, Divinity moves you more and more, and it becomes harder to ignore. Spirit does not operate rationally, and you might not make sense to others. You may become a weirdo or an outcast. It’s very likely that you will find very few people who understand you and at some point, you may feel very alone. And in your loneliness, just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, it’s quite possible that you may suddenly feel that God itself has abandoned you.
Only later you learn that God was ever present, and you can not be abandoned. It was only that your understanding of God was being restructured. Regardless, the illusion of abandonment can be unbearable, and depression is very common.
Spiritual practice may become extremely important to you, and you may isolate yourself and spend long periods of time alone. You may find yourself meditating for hours and hours, reading countless books in search of spiritual knowledge that satisfies you.
And things you thought you understood about spirituality and God will change over and over. It may feel like you’re changing your mind every day about who you are, what your purpose is and what truth is. Eventually, almost nothing of substance remains except the spotless stillness of omnipresent God. As Rumi says: “Silence is the language of God, all else is poor translation”.
As this journey progresses, you feel that you have evolved, when suddenly, you think that you’re losing your mind. In the morning, you wake up unable to shake the feeling that life is entirely meaningless. You question why you’re alive at all. By the afternoon you’re in ecstatic mystic bliss for no reason.
Then there are the fits of uncontrollable laughter at nothing, and tears that flow without cause. All of this is layer upon layer falling away.
The pain of long buried traumas resurface for healing. As this happen, you may feel intense anger, even rage, without knowing what you are angry at. Deep grief arises, even when everything seems like it’s going well in your life. It’s just coming up, to be released.
All sorts of strange physical symptoms start to arise. Headaches, nausea, not wanting to eat at all and then suddenly not being able to eat enough, tingling sensations and even waves of electricity move up the spine and on the crown of the head, numbness, sharp pains in the toes, an itch that seems to have no real place in the body and therefor cannot be scratched, back pain, an effervescent feeling at the tail bone that makes you feel bouncy and weightless, and then the orgasmic flow of energy up the spine that sometimes feels absolutely Divine, and at other times dizzying and sickening. And more physical symptoms that are so unusual that you would certainly go to the doctor, except you know what it is, and you know that they will find nothing. All of these physical issues are also symptoms of the shedding. Some symptoms may make sense to you, and others are a mystery.
Yes, at first the spiritual awakening process seems more like an excavation than an ascension. And it is. And it is perfectly unfolding. The advice is to trust it and surrender. More and more layers are removed, and the divine starts to be revealed. You may sense a shimmering aliveness everywhere. Colors often become brighter and the world is luminous. It’s as if you were given new eyes.
Incredible occurrences that you may have been a skeptic of at one point in your life, like scarily accurate psychic predictions, out of body travels, meeting with beings in other dimensions, receiving spiritual transmissions in the middle of the night, your body assuming spontaneous and involuntary yoga poses, and surprise visitations from spiritual masters who have been dead for many years. Conversations with trees and animals is now common place, and when someone tells you that they see auras you can have a great conversation.
Emotions intensify in such a beautiful way, bliss that is so intense that it is almost unbearable, a love for all of life that is so deep and powerful, that it may lead you to be the strange girl or guy who cries at the marvelous beauty of an ant carrying a leaf, or a spider weaving it’s gorgeous web. It might feel like you are having a passionate love affair with God, You dance with life in delirious delight. Everything feels like a friend, or maybe like a dear lover. You suddenly don’t care much at all for creating wealth or getting the guy, you are already wealthy, and you are in love in a deeper way then you knew was possible. Maybe, when walking in nature you see that the trees and the birds are aware of your presence, and you bow to the trees, and they bow back. In meditation and in your mundane life, you might feel the presence of God not only all around you, but within you. And the boundaries between the world within you and the world all around you fade away. You realize that the you that you thought you were was nothing more than a false mask, and that the truth of you is indeed oneness, and dare I say, God itself.
And wonderful, but much less mystical things may occur for you on this journey, such as, you find your voice, and start speaking clear, bold truth to the people who you once shied away from. No longer are you subject to intimidation or manipulation. There is power in you that you used to seek, and you recognize untruths easily. Your desire to please others will likely disappear, and be replaced with true kindness and unconditional love for them.
You might find yourself giving up the life path you were on for something much more fulfilling, and much more authentically right for you. Your career might shift into a passion to serve. Maybe it’ll make money, maybe it won’t, but you know that you will be taken care of perfectly.
And it is VERY likely that you will no longer tolerate the people and things that are not right for you. You simply cannot hide from the truth any longer, you know when someone drains you, when the job environment is toxic, when the food isn’t going to digest well. Your intuition guides you. It always has, but now you trust it.
Eventually, all of the layers of ego are released, and all that is left is sat chit ananda, Sanskrit for the bliss of existence.
It should be known from the start that the spiritual awakening process is not easy. If you’re just starting out on this journey, and you’re finding it to be much more difficult than you bargained for, then you’re on the right track. Tt’s important for the beginner to have realistic expectations. Before heaven can reside within you, everything that is hellish must pass away. It must come up from the darkness and be released into the light, and it must do this through you. To be the light, you must first contend with the darker parts of you. Spirit demolishes the small self, and ultimately the ego will not survive. This is what it is to be fully awake and illuminated.
You may wonder if it’s worth it, and my answer is a resounding and absolute yes. I would go through it all again if it was necessary, just to feel the truth.
I recently created a morning meditation that could help you to on your spiritual awakening journey. If you’d like to listen to it, click the link in the description below.
I’d love to hear your feelings and thoughts about the law of attraction and spiritual growth, and I’d love to know if you have any topics that you’d like me to talk about, so please comment below.