No, the ego cannot be healthy. In the same vein as the Caroline Myss quote, “Liars don’t heal”, the ego cannot be healthy because it is an illusion. The ego is a lie. It is merely a false belief about who we are.
Even though you may not yet be fully aware of the truth of who you are as an infinite, Divine being, truth is always known in the core of our being. Trying to have a healthy ego will only feed the dis-ease that falseness always brings.
The ego, or the construct of the separate, personal self, is never at ease. It always wants, struggles, strives and desires more and better. It deserves, it’s entitled, it’s been patient and it wants what it’s been waiting for. Ego is always right and will hurt anyone who refutes that. Ego’s love is transactional - it says, “I will love you if..”. The ego is a false idea of a small self that has opinions that others should validate. Ego has stories of the past that create barbed wire around the heart and it holds onto beliefs that limit an otherwise infinite reality.
Preferences that drive one into “good” and “bad” moods are only possible because of the presence of the ego. The ego is better than, or not good enough. The ego is at the core of all insecurity, it has a point to prove and it is always comparing itself to other egos. It adjusts itself endlessly in big, life changing ways and in tiny imperceptible ways. This perpetuates an endless cycle of suffering in every moment, always trying to get somewhere, someday. Ego always prefers some other place, some other time. It tricks you into believing that when the thing is acquired, then everything will be okay. And then you can rest.
But of course, the ego never rests. Once it gets to the desired place and has the desired stuff, it imagines a new destination that’s better - and it stirs you into moving toward a goal that is always shifting always changing.
This doesn’t sound like health to me. The word health comes from the old English word help, meaning wholeness, or being whole. Ego believes that wholeness is out there, in the next achievement, in the perfect body, or the right relationship. Of course, wholeness can never be found or achieved, only realized.
While all of this is true, it’s important to remember that the ego is not the enemy. It is like an unruly toddler that doesn’t know any better. In truth it’s powerless, and like the toddler, it should never be trusted to lead or to make the decisions.
I do not believe feel that it’s in your best interest to strive to have a healthy ego, but instead, do what you can to lovingly transcend it and become more and more of the God self.
When the ego is transcended, the true self, which is Divine, moves you effortlessly. This true self is one with all things and is always peaceful because it knows that all is unfolding perfectly. Opposite of the ego, the divine self is always in a state of ease and flow. The true self never struggles or strives because it is infinite. How could the infinite want?
The self with a capital S is grateful for what IS and has no reason to be patient, because it never waits. It doesn’t judge others as right or wrong, and doesn’t lament about the future or worry about the past. Forgiveness is unnecessary, because the Divine self loves unconditionally, and the heart is fully opened. The true self has no opinions or preferences and thus there is only a blissful, peaceful mood. Divine self only knows oneness, and so cannot be better than or not good enough. There is nothing to measure itself against, because it lives in oneness.
The God self loves unconditionally and its boundless compassion heals others with its presence alone. The experience of life from the perspective of the true self is bliss in an eternal present moment. Even mundane chores are performed with joy, as spirit moves from perfection to perfection. All is well. Spirit stirs you to laugh at the drama and dance with life. Living as this true self inevitably leads to health and wholeness, because there is no fracture or division. How can there be division when the self is God, and God is all things, everywhere?
No, the ego cannot be healthy. Nor should attempts be made to destroy ego. Fill yourself with spirit more and more, and soon the ego will have no place to dwell. I’d love to hear your feelings and thoughts about the ego, and I’d love to know if you have any topics that you’d like me to talk about, so please comment below.
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